So many of my school friends had their kids back when we’d finished up college or in their early twenties. At that time I had just come out of a toxic relationship and I wanted to get away. I decided to go traveling which led me into nannying.
I got to work for some amazing families and travelled parts of the world that I probably wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for my jobs. But I knew that I would most definitely want to have my own children some day.
However in todays society it isn’t like it was back when my grandparents were let’s say ‘courting’ or even in my parents younger days. You’d often meet someone either through school or mutual friends, get married, settle down and have a family.
Independent Women
People take different paths in life now. Women are certainly more independent and career minded. Many like to see the world or get their teeth into their jobs before they decide to settle down. This can sometimes result to many women having children later in life or even sadly not having children at all. Both situations have their advantages and disadvantages and of course everyone’s situation is different.
Fortunately I was lucky enough to meet someone who I could have a future with. He was friends with my brother so we knew each other from an early age. I fear that now in my 40’s I may still have been waiting for ‘the one’ if we hadn’t gotten together. Who knows maybe fate would had me take a different path. Regardless of the fact, I was fortunate to still be able to become a mother at a time when I yearned that.
Starting Later in Life
I had my first child when I was 34 and I can honestly say it was the happiest time in my life. I don’t have any regrets in starting later and it happened just at the right time for me.
Don’t get me wrong I was absolutely exhausted, and it was a shock to my body going through pregnancy and childbirth in my mid 30’s. I’ve heard it can be a little easier giving birth when your younger but I can’t comment lol!
Not to mention the sleepless nights! I just wanted to sleep and it took me a while to feel human again! I know it doesn’t sound like I am recommending having babies later in life at all does it? 🤣 But it honestly changed me as a person! In a good way!
Ive heard many of my friends talk about when they had their kids in their early twenties or even younger and to be honest having kids early in life also has its drawbacks but again I can’t honestly comment as I was on the opposite scale.
Being ‘Ready’
Personally I wasn’t ready for a family when I was in my 20’s. Perhaps if I had been in a steady loving relationship the idea might have been completely different. I feel like I was pretty selfish back then and I enjoyed my freedom and independence too much. Not that I wouldn’t have loved my children. I just wanted to travel and party and all those things that you tend to do when you’re in your late teens or early twenties.
Of course if you have your children earlier, you get that independence back once your kids have grown up and left the nest. My parents had my brother and I when they were in their early twenties. I know from growing up with younger parents that they got to do things together when we left home.
Making Time Together
My husband and I are lucky to squeeze in date nights these days and we are always so tired with having two little ones and working. We choose to stay home and watch a movie instead of going out lol!
Don’t get me wrong I remember going to stay at my grandmas house on weekends so that mum and dad could have some parent time or we’d have babysitters to watch us while they went to the pubs with their friends. It’s how things were.
Making Every Day Count
As an older mum with two children I do soak in every bit of time with them because my life has slowed down a lot and they have become my world now. I had my second child at 40 and my life is just all about them. I do get very tired and I am probably not as patient as I probably would have been back when I was younger. But I always tell myself that it goes by so fast.
I LOVE that phrase about parenthood;
“The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short”
It’s so true! You can sometimes feel so exhausted that you lose track of when the last time you got to yourself was. But as an older mum, I do feel like time goes by so quickly. I try to embrace every moment with my kids. My daughter will be starting school this fall and I honestly don’t know where that time went from when she was born. My son will be 10 this year and it’s crazy to think that it’s almost 10 years since I became a mother.. Yikes!!
I know that once they leave home and are all grown up, I’ll get that time again to myself. My husband and I will be able to focus on us and what we want in life, whether that be more traveling or just time to ourselves. But it is nice having that time as a family & making memories.
I may be old and grey before I have any grandchildren, which sometimes makes me a little sad. But as an older parent I try not to dwell on things like that. It’s all about enjoying the moments that you are in right now. Ive met a lot of mothers who had kids later in life and they all tell me the same.
Life is what you make it. Whether you have kids early in life or later in life, embrace being a parent. It’s a blessing that some people unfortunately don’t have. Remember to just take some time out now and then for you. You are still human and will have days when you feel worn out.
Sending hugs to fellow mamas out there. You are doing an awesome job. 😘
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